runpunkrun: Fic: Gun, with Occasional Kangaroo: A Love Story

okay, so you're nonchalant (

runpunkrun) wrote,
@ 2005-09-29 12:55:00

Entry tags:

fan/fiction, north meets south

Fic: Gun, with Occasional Kangaroo: A Love Story
Author: Punk
Fandom: Due South
Pairing: F/K
Rating: PG

Size: 12,900 words

Summary: Frannie's got a romance novel with a big strapping Mountie on the cover, shirt hanging open, hair blowing in the wind, you know the kind.

[Gun, with Occasional Kangaroo: A Love Story]

Feedback: here or e-mail
Website: The Underground

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	pearl_o 2005-09-29 08:38 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, my goodness. I don't know if it would be possible for me to love this story more than I already do; it's amazing and wonderful and the whole time I was reading I was doing a tiny little dance and failing to resist quoting whole paragraphs at people at aim. Of all the awesome bits, though, I think my very favorite might be Bob stuck at the DMV with his i ticket. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	pearl_o 2005-09-29 08:39 pm UTC (link)
	(Well, that and Fraser saying "pamplemousse", possibly my favorite French word of all time.) (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

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runpunkrun, 2005-09-29 11:28 pm UTC (Expand)

	panisdead 2005-09-29 09:02 pm UTC (link)
	What a lovely madcap read! I admit it took me a good long while to get used to the POV, but once I got the hang of it it was awesome. And of course Fraser would stick his hand in a kangaroo. Was there ever any doubt? (Reply to this) (Thread)

runpunkrun
2005-09-29 11:19 pm UTC (link)

Oh god, the hand in the kangaroo! I think that was the first time in fandom I had to stop and ask myself, "Do I really want to do this?" Because YUCK. Fraser, on the other hand, had absolutely no problem with it.

Thanks for sticking with the POV. It was such a challenge to write -- I'll be so happy to return to my beloved 3rd person limited -- but it was something I wanted to try. There's fun stuff to be had in 3rd person omniscient. *g*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	Oh, this is too much fun. ubixtiz 2005-09-29 09:17 pm UTC (link)
	Eee! I absolutely adore old-feeling, apparently-queer Ray. hearts madly (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Oh, this is too much fun. runpunkrun 2005-09-29 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	I cheated and put all of Ray's doubts and freakouts before the story happened. I just wanted to go straight to the making out. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	corinna_5 2005-09-29 09:45 pm UTC (link)
	As always, Dief is my favorite, but I love this story madly. Yay! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-09-29 11:40 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks for the help! I wanted to put more of your suggestions into effect, but honestly I'm just too tired to think. Maybe when this cold wears off I can revisit the revision. g Dief was the very first character in Due South that I wanted to write about. I need a Dief icon. (Reply to this) (Parent)

Squee!

quatre_k
2005-09-29 10:22 pm UTC (link)

"Two thousand miles away, Armando Langostini, né Ray Vecchio, felt a little queer and had to sit down.:" This was a hilarious story everyone made me laugh so much !

"It seems Diefenbaker has befriended Murl Haggard's kangaroo," Fraser said to Ray"

The addition of the kangaroo was fantastic.

"Dief didn't care what people thought. He was a wolf."

I think that defines diefs personality.

Also Bob Fraser stuck at the DMV pure comic genuis.

I think I have a little fangirl crush on you right now

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Squee! runpunkrun 2005-09-29 11:50 pm UTC (link)
	I tried to squeeze as many DS people into this as possible. Vecchio's cameo was one of the first things I knew I had to do in this story. And as long as I had Dief POV, I figured I could get away with a kangaroo, too. The show started it! (Reply to this) (Parent)

lynnmonster
2005-09-29 10:46 pm UTC (link)

Fun, with ~~occasional~~ constant laughter!

This was fabulous; I admit to finding the omniscience a little jarring, but it was deftly done -- nice little dips under the surfaces of things, without getting too bogged down in any one character to throw the feel of it off balance.

(Plus, if you hadn't written it this way, I wouldn't have gotten to see Dief's thoughts, which were just classic.)

So. Much. Fun.

*beams happily at you*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

runpunkrun
2005-09-30 12:15 am UTC (link)

Dief was totally my reward for slogging through this POV. It's highly unlikely I'll ever write a story completely through his POV, so this was my one chance to see the world through his eyes.

I really struggled with striking the right balance between the different voices and povs, so it's good to hear that it worked for you. I did this as an experiment, and now I shall happily return to my preferred 3rd person limited. I miss it so!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	conser 2005-09-29 10:59 pm UTC (link)
	OMG'd, you finished writing it! ... Gonna read it now. Um, rest assured that I will love it. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	conser 2005-09-29 11:45 pm UTC (link)
	OMG'd, weirdest way of telling a story, ever. No wonder you went on about the style, I think you broke my brain. Brain still knows I love you, though. And this story. And I'll stop saying OMG'd. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

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runpunkrun, 2005-09-29 11:52 pm UTC (Expand)

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conser, 2005-09-30 12:00 am UTC (Expand)

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runpunkrun, 2005-09-30 12:18 am UTC (Expand)

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conser, 2005-09-30 10:08 pm UTC (Expand)

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runpunkrun, 2005-09-30 11:38 pm UTC (Expand)

(no subject) -

conser, 2005-10-01 02:37 pm UTC (Expand)

	brooklinegirl 2005-09-29 11:04 pm UTC (link)
	this was BRILLIANT and hysterically funny, and god, I read it on the train coming home, and had people looking at me all funny b/c I kept laughing out LOUD, and dude. WONDERFUL. more quality feedback tomorrow! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-09-30 12:19 am UTC (link)
	I know I'm doing my job right if I've got people being stared at in public. G Glad you liked it! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ekaterinn 2005-09-29 11:15 pm UTC (link)
	loves Brilliantly funny and also? Just brilliant. I loved how some suff was just characters thinking mundane things and then it would be, look, a kangeroo! Also, it was a wonderful distraction from my paper of DOOM. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-09-30 12:23 am UTC (link)
	You know, I don't even remember how the kangaroo got involved. You'd think that'd be somewhat memorable. But...no. Glad you liked the fic. Good luck on your doomful paper! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	chickwriter 2005-09-29 11:26 pm UTC (link)
	Squee!! I totally loved this. Utterly DS in the wackiness. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-09-30 12:20 am UTC (link)
	Thanks! If there's any fandom that can support such insanity, it's DS. I couldn't have done this anywhere else. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	spikedluv 2005-09-30 12:23 am UTC (link)
	That? Was so much fun to read! I thought the pov was great! Loved the little things you were able to throw in there with it, like where the paper clips went and Dief's thoughts, lol! I adored the way you wrote Ray and Fraser, as well as Frannie and Welsh. And the kangaroo!! Certainly a true dS moment! g (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-09-30 11:42 pm UTC (link)
	I thought this was just going to be a short little story, an experiment, but the POV kept collecting all this information and the plot just kept getting bigger and bigger. And suddenly there was a kangaroo. g (Reply to this) (Parent)

	claire 2005-09-30 01:05 am UTC (link)
	Bob stuck at the DMV! Ahahahahaha! That was the funniest moment in a whole collection of funny moments. Hee! <3 (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-09-30 02:17 am UTC (link)
	Three weeks at the DMV'll teach him to follow Fraser around everwhere! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	bonspiel 2005-09-30 01:30 am UTC (link)
	This had the madcap hilarity of the show, and the POV allowed those great asides which everyone's already commented about. But even better it felt emotionally true and real. I really enjoyed it. (Reply to this) (Thread)

runpunkrun
2005-09-30 07:09 pm UTC (link)

Those asides were my favorite part about writing in this pov. I don't normally take the time to do that sort of thing, so I was having a lot of fun with it.

I also did something different where the whole story is kind of like a run of dominos. It all starts with the book, and I tried to make every event a direct result of something that had happened before. I think it made the tone of the story even more urgent and crazy. *g*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	lomedet 2005-09-30 02:16 am UTC (link)
	wheee!!!! this was more fun than very many very fun things. surrounds you - and Dief - with hearts and shiny sparkles (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-10-01 12:23 am UTC (link)
	twirls Thanks for the comment! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	planetalyx 2005-09-30 02:25 am UTC (link)
	This is wonderful and hilarious and silly and delightful. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-09-30 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! (Reply to this) (Parent)

murklins
2005-09-30 06:38 am UTC (link)

Zany dS wonderfulness from start to finish. I don't know how you kept a handle on all the POVs, but I loved how they were all so distinct that it really wasn't hard to follow at all once I fell into the rhythm. I think the only times I got a bit tripped up were when things seemed to shift mid-paragraph, but that was probably because I don't always pay quite enough attention.

I loved how you slipped the kangaroo in while we were all distracted by Ray's jealous fit.

One of my favourite passages was when Ray took a bit of time to remember who Fraser was under the serge, and then got all worked up in appreciation: He was a real guy, and the way he licked his bottom lip drove Ray absolutely crazy. So crazy it was all he could do not to grab Fraser by the neck and haul him up to do some licking of his own.

And for the funny: It wasn't easy to ignore Bob Fraser. Especially when he was wearing that hat with the antlers on.

I thought that final installation of Dief's chase scene was just perfect. Thoughts of lunch and a bit of a sit down while the suspect browses through old mags. Hee.

I've kind of lost where I was ging with all this, so I shall sum up: loved it a whole lot.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

runpunkrun
2005-10-01 12:35 am UTC (link)

You're right about the mid-paragraph pov shifts. There are places where I probably didn't pull that off as well as I would have liked. I'm hoping that if it was confusing at first, it at least made sense a second time through.

I wanted Fraser to be both wrong and right about Dief's motivation for chasing after the kangaroo. Fraser said Dief was just curious and would return after he realized his mistake. Dief *was* curious and eventually did get bored, but he hadn't made a mistake. The kangaroo was part of a seditious plot, it just wasn't of her making. And thus Diefenbaker saves the day.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) -

murklins, 2005-10-05 12:59 am UTC (Expand)

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runpunkrun, 2005-10-05 05:46 am UTC (Expand)

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murklins, 2005-10-13 12:00 am UTC (Expand)

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runpunkrun, 2005-10-13 12:21 am UTC (Expand)

	_inbetween_ 2005-09-30 11:14 am UTC (link)
	:D Greatness. I indulged myself and did not stop to copy/paste quotes, but apart from the wonderful Ray and the lovely Fraser I enjoyed your whole cast of characters, from Welsh's brief appearances to our Frannie and Dief. I really didn't want it to end. There. cough (Reply to this) (Thread)

runpunkrun
2005-09-30 11:45 pm UTC (link)

I didn't realize until I was doing the final revisions on this, but Frannie and Dief were really the ones that solved this case. Luckily Ray and Fraser were too distracted by each other to really care.

Also, I may be brave and stupid, but no way am I going to write a m/m sex scene in third person omniscient. It's hard enough in third person limited! My brain would have hated me. And I? Would have hated myself. *g*

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) -

_inbetween_, 2005-10-01 08:35 am UTC (Expand)

Sheppard's sticking his tongue out at me! *heart* -

runpunkrun, 2005-10-01 09:04 pm UTC (Expand)

2am_optimism
2005-09-30 11:15 am UTC (link)

This is awesome! Wonderful characterisation, and I really liked the pov - getting into Dief's and Bob's minds.

So many brilliant lines!

"We got a case," Ray told him. "Dead guy in the carpet district."

"I wasn't aware Chicago had a carpet district."

"Nah, it ain't official or nothing," Ray said. "I just bought a rug there once."

"What do you like?" Ray kissed him and attempted to disarm his suspenders. He failed.

Thank you - this is going to have me smiling for the rest of the day :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-10-01 12:37 am UTC (link)
	Fraser's got to be the hardest guy in Chicago to get undressed. I mean, he's got more straps on him than an antique suitcase. g Thanks for the comment! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fenlings 2005-09-30 11:19 am UTC (link)
	That was really enjoyable and in tune with the madcap tone of the series! I also really enjoyed the character development through the POV. Great job! One thing, though. Perhaps I am just uninformed, but I didn't understand what the references to "Eureka" meant. o.O (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-09-30 07:04 pm UTC (link)
	Glad you liked the fic! The Eureka references are twofold. There's a town in California called Eureka, which is where my character was from, and it's also what Archimedes yelled when he jumped out of the bathtub after having discovered water displacement, which is why it's kind of punny that Welsh yells it after getting off the phone. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	buzzylittleb 2005-09-30 12:16 pm UTC (link)
	This is really wonderful. I didn't have issues with the pov at all. That was in case you're worried. I like kangaroos a lot. This rocked. And clearly I suck since I can no longer form coherent thoguth after reading this, beyond wee! kangaroos and mounties! I did like the bit about Ray waking up with a rug anf turtle though. (Reply to this) (Thread)

runpunkrun
2005-10-01 12:47 am UTC (link)

I knew the POV wasn't going to be for everyone, but a lot of people have said they liked it, so I'm happy. If anyone's calling me bad names, it's at least out of my hearing range. *g*

And I'm so curious about Ray's turtle. He doesn't seem like the kind of person who would go out and intentionally buy a turtle. Though it might be something that happened to him on accident.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	torakowalski 2005-09-30 05:59 pm UTC (link)
	Hee oh this is very, very good! Hysterically funny and with some lovely character observations :) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-10-01 12:50 am UTC (link)
	This was my first time writing anything from Fraser's pov. He had a lot of interesting things to say about Ray, and himself. I'm a lot less intimidated by him than I used to be. I might even write a story entirely from his pov, next. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	gaffsie 2005-09-30 07:11 pm UTC (link)
	I loved this story. You have really taken Due South's quirky kind of humor to heart. RayV's little cameo really made my day. :D (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-10-01 12:42 am UTC (link)
	I'm slowly, slowly easing into getting RayV in my fic. Here he had a line, maybe next time he'll have some dialogue, too. You can't rush these things. g (Reply to this) (Parent)

	anno_domino 2005-09-30 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	I think I love you. :) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-09-30 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	preen (Reply to this) (Parent)

	joyfulseeker 2005-10-01 04:04 am UTC (link)
	Two thousand miles away, Armando Langostini, né Ray Vecchio, felt a little queer and had to sit down. BEST LINE EVER. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	runpunkrun 2005-10-01 06:05 am UTC (link)
	When I was trying to come up with ways to take advantage of this POV, that line was like the FIRST thing I thought of. (Reply to this) (Parent)

helleboredoll
2005-10-02 03:47 pm UTC (link)

I absolutely love this story. Am beyond jealousy in the writing department and worried in the reading department that I will never find a dS story I enjoy reading this much ever again. You are brilliant.

The POV totally worked for me and I love the many little things it allowed you to do with explaining the various characters' actions and responses to/understanding of each other. I love how the whole thing felt like a real episode-- but with the slashy scenes actually in the final cut ;) And because the story is so much like a real ep, those moments between Fraser and RayK are all the more believable and glee-inducing.

Also love all the little bits with Frannie's book, the name allusions, the Bob Fraser conversations, etc. It always impresses me when a writer is able not only to use details and quirks from the show, but instead of just wedging them into the fic verbatum from an ep, also to be creative and extrapolate a little, make those details new and fresh and take them in places that make the reader say, 'oh, yeah, that's totally how RayK would react, were he ever confronted with Fraser's hand down a kangaroo's pouch.'

Also, your Dewey is a beautiful freak. In fact, it's wonderful how naturally and succinctly you're able to present 3D characterizations for all the supporting roles. <3 Welsh & Franny.

I could go on and on like this. What I really want to do is c&p the whole fic so I can tell you exactly what about and how much I loved each and every single clever, hysterical, and beautiful line. Thank you so much for writing this. I haven't laughed so much and been so generally gleeful about a fic in ages. And please, please, please write more like it *G*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

runpunkrun
2005-10-05 05:59 am UTC (link)

Wow, this is some truly fantastic feedback! Thank you so much.

One of the great things about Due South is its cast of supporting characters. I knew I wanted to try a third person omniscient fic, and I didn't even have to think about which fandom I'd use. DS was just the perfect place for it. I had no interest at all in using an omniscient pov in Smallville, my other main fandom. But I knew if I managed to go through with it, I'd have lots of fun characters to play with in DS.

Strangely enough, I really struggled with Dewey's characterization. Most of what I know about him is how he's portrayed in fic -- sort of dumb and mean and always ready to make an off-color joke about Ray's sexuality. But I've seen little evidence of that in the show itself, so I kind of had to start from scratch with him. I'm happy with what I came up with, though, he seems a lot like the guy I see on the show. Dumb and bland, and, yes, freakish. *g*

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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